Kindness, habit, routine and everlasting love

"Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter."
- John Keats -

There is a special power in anonymous random acts of kindness, and your heart will sing an unseen song long after you did some, even if you do not know the one benefiting from your action. It is good to see yourself helping a person in need, it is even better to do it only for the sake of it, no pride involved at all. Try this today, pay someone coffee in the shop or help some person in need. See what happen.

"I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life."
- Maya Angelou -

How can you enrich your own life? By going the extra mile, especially when it is about yourself. It is your day off, take the train or bus to the next town and wonder aimlessly around, discovering what will attract you on your next move. Do something beyond your routine, it will rewire your brain and bring some sense into your life. It is a good exercise, if you get bored quickly. Be creative, think out of the box. Act out of the box. Ant tell me about your experiences. Make me curious.

"Child, give me your hand that I may walk in the light of your faith in me."
- Hannah Kahn -

It is all about the right attitude. Remember when you were a little child and your parents assisted you every step of the way. Think at yourself as the parent of the entire humanity. Consider every person that you meet as your own child. Watch him or her with love, assisting that person all along. It is all about being with your heart in everything you do, encompassing every one with parental love.

Listening the forest grow, healing ourselves and reaching the stars

"In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear."
- Mark Nepo -

These days, we listen to answer back, not to listen only. Do this next time, as a little exercise. Listen with intention, carefully, without judgement, just for the sake of it. And see what change. Because listening is one of the most needed skills, it is a must, and the good news is that we can become better listeners, with practice. Empathy will follow soon after we master this skill, and then we will observe a dramatic increase in a quality of our emotional and overall life. Just do it!


"It is never too late to heal the mind and to bring to ourselves and to those around us the compassion and kindness that arise from that healing and integration."
- Dan Siegel -

Listening and developing of empathy is one of the many steps we need to make in order to achieve perfect balance. And like the Chinese saying, the perfect moment to start this was 10 years ago. The second perfect moment is now. Doesn't matter how low we can get, or where we feel we are right now. The perfect moment to start is the present moment. If we are down, is it still fine, because now we can rise. It is never too soon. It is never to late. The biggest and most consistent amount of change in my life came after my 37th birthday. I was asleep until then. I was lost in the night of the spirit. And i wake up.


"The redwoods, once seen, leave a mark or create a vision that stays with you always...It's not only their unbelievable stature, nor the color which seems to shift and vary under your eyes, no, they are not like any trees we know, they are ambassadors from another time."
- John Steinbeck -

They are there, as witnesses from another time, from another space. The are majestic, and they are giants among us. But they were not like these all the time. They started as a humble acorn. They were a small tree once. But given enough time, they grow. They reach the height that will make us to look in awe. So are we. We can be majestic too. Given enough time. Given enough learning. Given enough inner fire.

How i spend my summer between light and darkness

"You must not ever stop being whimsical."
- Mary Oliver -

What being whimsical means? It is a childhood quality,it is being curious just for the sake of it, it is following a balloon on the sky for half an hour only because you can. As a child, following the desires of your heart and the pull of your ideas, this means whimsical. As an adult, i often forget. Too many tasks, too many lines on my to-do list, to many events to attend or problems too solve. But our curiosity is still there, waiting patiently.


"One child, one teacher, one book, and one pen, can change the world."
- Malala Yousafzai -

Another reason to awake your inner child is your hidden potential. How often do you feel that you are not all that you were meant to be, that you were destined for greatness, and you can even feel it waiting for you around the corner. You were always thinking that it is something inside of you, a great river behind the dam. The dam is only a mental construction, a prison of which warden are yourself. You accepted the rules of whatever society are you living in it, without questioning them first. But something there is making its way to the surface, and soon you will find what you always knew. Yes, you are destined to be great. You are the one who will change the world. At least your world, at first, and then you will touch others.


"Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars."
- Serbian Proverb -

And then, when your meaning is clear, do your work from behind the words, enjoying the smile of other people and being humble. But continue to bring happiness into the world. This is a duty of every person.

Business, life, inside and out, and maybe a bit of self importance

"If I am in a boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and the boat is in trouble, who do I want in that boat with me? Those are the people would hire."
- Jim Crupi -

If i am dreaming of becoming an entrepreneur and owning my own company, and as we know that a quality of a person is easily to determine by the quality of their questions, not of their answers, then this is the question to ask yourself before you start.


"Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here."
- Pueblo Prayer -

And we need to hold on not only to the good men and women from our life, our friends, but to everything else that will help us grow too. Because in the end, like some Olympic performer said, all that we accept in our life need to help our boat to go faster.


" I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in."
- John Muir -

To conclude for today, going out, travel the world and learn about new, amazing things are just another reason to start the most important journey, within ourselves. Because without this journey, we are lost into the immensity of one unfriendly universe, and within the scale of time, we are only one pale blue dot. We, as the Earth, like Carl Sagan brilliantly put it in words.

Have a perfect December!

Aim, goals and travels

*
"The dedicated life is the life worth living. You must give with your whole heart."
- Annie Dillard -

If you have a goal, if you focus into something, your overall brain activity is increased, you perform better, you are acting better in response to the environment, you are even energized and ready to use some unknown resources to fuel your pathway. Don't be aimless, find a meaning in your life. There is no dream too big, no project too small. Find your courage and do the first step.

**
Today's gift for all my readers

For the Traveler
by John O'Donohue

Every time you leave home,
Another road takes you
Into a world you were never in.

New strangers on other paths await.
New places that have never seen you
Will startle a little at your entry.
Old places that know you well
Will pretend nothing
Changed since your last visit.

When you travel, you find yourself
Alone in a different way,
More attentive now
To the self you bring along,
Your more subtle eye watching
You abroad; and how what meets you
Touches that part of the heart
That lies low at home:

How you unexpectedly attune
To the timbre in some voice,
Opening in conversation
You want to take in
To where your longing
Has pressed hard enough
Inward, on some unsaid dark,
To create a crystal of insight
You could not have known
You needed
To illuminate
Your way.

When you travel,
A new silence
Goes with you,
And if you listen,
You will hear
What your heart would
Love to say.

A journey can become a sacred thing:
Make sure, before you go,
To take the time
To bless your going forth,
To free your heart of ballast
So that the compass of your soul
Might direct you toward
The territories of spirit
Where you will discover
More of your hidden life,
And the urgencies
That deserve to claim you.

May you travel in an awakened way,
Gathered wisely into your inner ground;
That you may not waste the invitations
Which wait along the way to transform you.

May you travel safely, arrive refreshed,
And live your time away to its fullest;
Return home more enriched, and free
To balance the gift of days which call you.

~ John O'Donohue ~

***
 "Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing him or herself"
- Leo Tolstoy -

Here you have one alternative view to our almighty internal noise. Check the link.

About fear, best version of life ever and listening to intuition

One interesting lecture for tonight. Quote: "2015 is the best year in the history of humankind. Why everyone if fearing everyone? Who is interested in cultivating this atmosphere of fear and distrust?"

You want to know more? Check this link.


"Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. "
- Parker J. Palmer -

We are learning how to react  to different stimuli from the time we are born, and then, for the rest of our life. Reacting is good, and we need to react fast and decisive. But it this completely true? Or maybe it is another alternative, a parallel universe where we listen to a different way of rationing, one based on intuition and the language of the heart? If you already looked in Malcolm Gladwell's books, you know that all the research pointed out that our intuition is incredible accurate. If only we want to learn how to use it.

Training, beauty and healing yourself

"Developing inner values is much like physical exercise. The more we train our abilities, the stronger they become. The difference is that, unlike the body, when it comes to training the mind, there is no limit to how far we can go."
- Dalai Lama -

Training and evolving to a better version of yourself, physically, emotionally and mentally, this is one of the duty we have to ourselves. And, how it is brilliantly pointed in this quote, unlike the physical part, the mind has no limits in becoming greater and faster. One year passed by, another will start soon. Choose a plan on how to improve yourself. And follow it.

"Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words."
- Robert Frost -

Beauty will leave a mark on our soul. A flutter of white sparkle, and one idea is resurrecting to the surface, becoming a phrase, a beautiful lining of words, creating the same feeling, like a mirror, in somebody else's soul. This is poetry.

"Artists strive to free this true and spontaneous self in their work. Creativity, meditation are ways of freeing an inner voice."
- Gloria Steinem -

And one Christmas story, to finish on a lighthearted note. About a singer who lost her voice due to an incurable disease, and the hope that end up bringing her voice back. Click here for the video.

Gratitude, slowing down and the magic hidden inside a book

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."
- Melody Beattie -

But more than once we choose to focus on the worst side of our day, and this is a choice too. There are many experiments done in the past five years to show the power of gratitude, and a simple fact such as thinking about 3 things to be grateful every morning can have a dramatic impact on our physical and mental health. So, i would say, why not try it, we have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."
- Eddie Cantor -

Being in a hurry will darken our vision and will make the future and the present unclear, acting as a mental fog. While slowing down and trying to relax, we expand our perception and start to see , instead of just passing by and avoid to look. The mindfulness walk is an amazing technique for a tired mind. Take an interval of time out of your very busy schedule, and just walk, slowly, with no rush, being focused on your internal and external sensations. Even 15 minutes per day will be  beneficial, helping you to be less stressed and more focused.

"You can find magic wherever you look. Sit back and relax, all you need is a book."
- Dr. Seuss -

And if walking being aware is too much for you, here is another idea. Stress in not the enemy, because it will became real only when we choose to respond to the events in our life by being contracted, depressed and upset.

Have a perfect Sunday!
G.

Void, fullness and the art of finishing stuff

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."
-Thich Nhat Hanh-

Three interesting ideas. Analyze this. You need to be your-self to be beautiful. But how? How can you be your self. Who is this self? It is not the mind, with all the endless line of thoughts. It is not what we feel, because we are the one feeling. It is not the body, because the body is our body, but who is this one having a body? 'Neti, neti', will say an Indian sadhu. 'It is not this one'. Then which one it is? Let's go forward. It is only one sure way to madness, and that is to try to please everyone. I was told. So, is you try to please yourself instead of pleasing others, is this the way? Or the trick is to listen to that inner voice, to your intuition, you know what i am talking, but this voice is feeble and week, and other ideas are very loud in your head, so something needs to be done too in order to make it stronger and louder, the intuition, i mean. We need to rejoice and enjoy the silence, the emptiness. To search the unsearchable, to find the white noise behind the monkey mind. Start doing it. Do it again. And the miracle will come.

"Grit is not just having resilience in the face of failure, but also having deep commitments that you remain loyal to over many years."
- Angela Duckworth -

Perseverance is the greatest gift. And finishing what you started, this is how you get more power to do even greater things. Live your life like you are a marathon runner, not a sprinter. Plan in advance. And finish what you start. Always.

Good night, my unknown friends, good night.
G.

Love, forgiveness and shifting the blame

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
(Rumi)

This is indeed the best strategy, because is implying to work with ourselves first, before we try to change another person. But often we forget about it, and we blame the other for our own shortcomings. And then the balance of our relationship is moved even further. Think about this, when was last time when you sincerely admitted that you were wrong?

Light, dreams and the nature's healing

"Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light."
- Theodore Roethke -

The most important part of our life is well hidden, deep inside, and it is not easy, but it is worth the effort to take the light from inside to the outside world, in any given form. Could be poetry, painting, singing or just kindness to another being, the form and the level is irrelevant, could be child level poetry or bad painting, the effort is the one important. In being creative, your inner being will revel in his own right.

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."
- Carl Jung -

How do you want to live your life? Do you want to ever dream about a future when everything will be perfect, and you will be happy and wealthy? Or do you want to look inside you for powers unknown to you, and make a plan to achieve what you want, with the tools you got, with an interval of time set up to get your goal?

"Every natural object is a conductor of divinity."
- John Muir -

The nature help you healing. Even a bit of nature, a plant or a pet, will bring a measure of good in your life. It is recommended to bring something in our living place, to take care of a flower or a little tree. Even if you are a man. Especially as a woman, being closer to the nature than men.

What we have and what we don't?

What we have?
We have time, enough time to do anything.
We have eyes, to see the beauty of the world unraveling all around us.
We have ears to listen to the most perfect music, and that is not the one from the radio, but the heart of the loved one beating faster as we rest close enough.
We have taste to try the most amazing foods, and we can check on the real deal now, without travelling all the way to Tokyo or Barcelona.
We can feel the warmth of the sun in a good day, or the rain drops, or even the snowflakes landing softly on our skin.
We can smell on some amazing range of perfumes, and this is enough to make our thought go wilder.

What we don't have?
We don't have time, as we are over-scheduled and overwhelmed by a huge amount of crappy activities. The golden rule, you do not like it and you have no real benefit from it, don't do it.
We watch, but we don't look, we are merely passing by, with our eyes popped in the screen of the smartphone or tablet.
We are constantly assaulted by noises, and we probably forget what the real, complete silence is. Try to find 5 minutes in some quiet place, relaxing yourself.
We got our taste perverted by too much sweetness and salt, and most often the blandness of the food is hidden behind powerful preservatives and enhancers.
We automatically divide the smells in good or bad, without knowing that for one person the smell of horse shit is abominable, and for another is the smell of the childhood, when everyone was happy together with mom and dad and the other 7 siblings.
We do not feel enough, not internally, not externally either.

And the worst of all, nobody will teach us how to be happy. Because this is a personal journey, and you are the only one to do your homework. Good luck!

Eyes of a child, stress and wisdom

"The great man is he who does not lose his child's heart."
- Mencius -

The sense of wonder and the curiosity of a child could be the reason for his apparently unlimited energy. But we grow up, we forget our childhood dreams, and we learn to deal with stress and responsibilities. Is this the life we wanted for us to live? If not, ask yourself when did you changed, along the journey. It was all at once or happened gradually? Can you still go back in time, at that moment when you where still happy, living in the moment? Maybe what we need to do is not to think to much about the past, maybe not even about the future, but to stay in the present, reaching out in awe for all the sounds, all the tastes and smells, for all the smiles and real friends. Think about it! It is still possible to be happy. But i need you to start with one step. First one. And then the second.


"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. "
- Viktor E. Frankl -

This is a practical key, or another way to say it, that we are not suffering because of the stress in our life, but merely because of our ways and choices on how we respond to the stressors. If something is not working, change your response. A definition of madness was to try to do the same thing, expecting different results. Right?


"Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way."
- Terry Tempest Williams -

I was once asked what is the difference between being intelligent and being wise. I answered with someone else answer, remembering the moment when i had asked the same question. I was told: An intelligent person know how to use a tool in the right way, a wise person finds another ten ways to use the same tool for something else.

Solitude, nature and one awareness walk

"If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities."
- Maya Angelou -

We are thinking here at what a tipping point is, and how one apparently unrelated events can transform the life of millions, in good or bad. To give only two examples, the history will be completely different if Einstein was convinced to be a shoe-maker, continuing his family tradition, or Hitler was encouraged by his art teacher to pursue painting instead of politics. You need to be kind, to always help others, for the simple reason that you can be the tipping point to mark a change in the collective destiny of the entire planet. You never know what you can do, what is you full potential or how the butterfly effect will play his role in this daily adventure called life.

"By assaulting nature, we raise the odds that we will assault each other. By bringing nature into our lives, we invite humility."
- Richard Louv -

You maybe didn't know about this, but most of the stress related modern illnesses will simply disappear if you try to have a daily walk, completely focused on the surrounding nature, looking at it as you are seeing it for the first time, thought the eyes of a child, without other distractions. An awareness walk of 30 minutes will completely change your life quality and it will make you to see everything else with another kind of vision.

Refugees, online universities and life as we know it

"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge."
- Thomas Carlyle -

So, you got this desire, burning inside you, and you want to learn, to know more. What you gonna do? Normal people will go to school, and to university after, paying a handful of money, and struggling for half of their life to pay it back. Is this the way? As you can see in this article, there are some good people who actually think about the better good. They created an university for refugees, completely online, where you can get a degree after four years of solid study.

"At its deepest level, I think teaching is about bringing people into communion with each other, with yourself as the teacher, and with the subject you are teaching."
- Parker Palmer -

And how can you do this better than creating online communities to help refugees from everywhere. You can change lives, you can give them the opportunity of their lifetime, when often a local degree is asked before getting accepted for an interview. Al you need is love. And maybe few years of study.

Sleeping enough to be awake, creating enough to be alive

"To be an artist is to believe in life."
- Henry Moore -

Because as an artist you are creative, and a creative person is closer to being a God, closer to the secret of life, fresh and sparkling ideas, bringing beauty from the mind to our reality. In the end, it is all about being authentic, being true to your Self.


"Sleep that knits up the raveled sleeve of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast."
- William Shakespeare -

We live in a sleep deprived society. One simple test to prove it, if you are using an alarm to wake up, you are not sleeping enough. For some people, sleep is a way to learn how to dream lucidly, to gain control over another dimension of your life. Tip: if you want to lucid dream, learn how to fly in your dream first.

Inspiration, respiration and preparation

"You think you are alive because you breathe air?
Shame on you, that you are alive in such a limited way.
Don't be without Love, so you won't feel dead.
Die in Love, and stay alive forever."
(Rumi)

He said it 800 years ago, but today it is still more actual than ever. We breathe to our daily schedules, but we don't live. Our eyes are mesmerized but thousands non-magical hooks, online and offline, on the bus, on the street's sideways, on the radio or TV. In only one day we are exposed to 490 adds, and daily media consumption for a typical adult is measured as 9.8 hours. We watch screens instead of living, our focus is directed in one endless loop, day after day. So, I will ask you one more time: do you think you are alive because you breathe air?

Poetry, peace and Aikido

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner."
- Nelson Mandela -

Think about Aikido, you are not stopping someone kick, but you let him to do it and you even help with increased speed in same direction. It is all about the flow, because when you learn not to react and oppose, but to help and absorb, and then the miracle happen. It is one the the many important lessons of our life. Learning this, nobody will ever oppose us.

"Strive to be uncynical, to be a hope-giving force, to be a steward of substance."
- Maria Popova -

This is all that is expected from a mature human being. But as the concept is difficult to relate, i will let the poetry to do it. Next two samples of poetry will try to explain what i cannot.

A Guide To Life's Turning Points
by Brian Browne-Walker (Oct 21, 2013) 

Progress is made in steps, not in leaps. Move only as far as the opening allows. Remain neutral and tolerant of adversity. When in doubt, remain still.
By accepting things as they are and not making fruitless comparisons to the situations of others, or some imagined ideal, one engages the power of the Creative.
Though outer conditions appear unpromising, success is possible if you look faithfully for the good in others, yourself, and the situation.
It is a time for moderation in everything. Moderation of enthusiasm keeps you balanced.
Moderation of despair deepens your understanding.
Accept natural limitations. When there is an opening, go forward with balance.
When the way is closed, withdraw willingly into stillness.
Do not enter rashly into a conflict, stand quietly in the center and keep your balance.  This enables a true and lasting resolution to be found.
Shock frightens us, and at first we are convinced that it is bad. When we learn the lesson that it has come to teach, we are thankful for it.
Restless effort undermines one’s interests. It is unwise to charge repeatedly at a closed door. Withdraw into stillness and accept both the challenges and the blessings of the day.
The difficulty is coming to a close, but only if one is firm against harshness, doubt, and despair. Help only comes when there is room for it to enter.
One who gives up a stubborn and harsh way of acting will not regret it. No harm comes if you soften now.
Abandon ambitions, anxieties, and agendas. What is necessary and worthwhile arises from the stillness within.
A true change of heart is possible when we accept the necessity of adversity. Peace comes when we discontinue the strivings of the ego.
Look not at the outward situation, but at the effects of your own thoughts and actions.
Through self-contemplation and self-correction, you arrive at a proper understanding.
Remain patient until the Creative does its work. Modesty will bring greater rewards than the aggressive maneuverings of the ego.
The solution to every situation is always available. By remaining open, innocent, and moderate, you allow the Creative to aid you. Do less, not more.

And the second one:

Desiderata
by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

About stress and unsettling routines

"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself."
- Michel de Montaigne -

It is a story as old as time itself. The stress is not bad for us. Some people grow under pressure, some people crumble. It is the way we respond to stress that it is making all the difference in the world. Or as some old mystic said, we are not going to the paradise or hell after we die, we are living in the paradise or hell every day of our life, and we are creating and sustaining this with every decision we make. So, next time when something bad happen to you, think about three way to react differently, and see what happen.

"People wish to be settled; only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

We are always thinking about how the life will be when we have everything we need, a day when we will never work again. Could be our retirement, could be early retirement via financial independence, could be a company we made and sell it. But then again, we are not made to stay, to become fixed in our own routines. When we do this, the life is lifeless. We are made to explore, to wonder, to stare in awe at the unlimited sky in a sunny October afternoon. We need to walk more, to do new things every day. The experts in neurochemistry showed us the value of the brain plasticity. We need to be exposed daily to something different, to not become stuck in some endless loop, Groundhog Day-like. We are made to thrive. To live.

Today's thoughts

"Human beings are wired to care and give and it's probably our best route to happiness."
- Dacher Keltner -

Funny thing, this affirmation will probably contradict our beliefs as an adult, but it is known that toddlers as young as one year old will take an object that parents drop and give it back. Compassion and kindness should be traits that need to be trained and mastered by every human being, and gratitude is a well known trait found in the animal kingdom.

And a nice bonus, until 7th of November you can watch this movie, with Leo di Caprio interviewing all kind of individuals about what need to be done to prevent a catastrophic event on Earth.

Allegorical

"Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. " - Albert Einstein -

We are all one, and every person got hopes, dreams, satisfactions, problems, disillusions. We often forget this, thinking at ourselves as the center of the Universe, which was created for us. In doing this we raise walls and fences, we build moats and trenches, we learn how to hide from one entire world. Yes, each of us is living in his own universe, but even universes collide sometimes. Remember that!


For your neighbor who is secretly racist.

I am black, and white, and Asian, and everybody loves me. Grow up. (said the Panda bear)


...and, to finish with an optimistic note, i give you Rumi:

One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring,
One smile can begin a friendship,
One hand can lift a soul,
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal,
One sunbeam can light a room,
One candle can wipe out darkness,
One laugh can conquer gloom,
One hope can raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care,
One voice can wake up everybody,
One life can make the difference.
Be that one.

Random quotes about life

"The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web." - Pablo Picasso -

You can see beauty everywhere, if you are looking for it. If you set for beauty, it will surround and enchant you. But you all your thoughts are negative, dark, stressful, then the color will fade, and the magic will disappear from your life. Think about that. If you think that this world is hell, it is. If you think that this world is paradise, it is. Either way you are right. Then, why not to make the right choices?

Transforming idea of the week: "Make new friends by attending a class or event at a community center in a different neighborhood from your own." - Maya Angelou -

Do something new, outside your comfort zone. If you are white, go to a non-white predominant club. If you are black, go to an Asian predominant club. You get the idea. Learn about other country, or about other profession. Spend time with some bikers. As long as you are not in danger, reaching other circles than your usual ones will make you grow, adapt and challenge your beliefs. It is an useful exercise.

"There comes a day when you realize turning a page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on." - Zayn Malik -

The metaphor is good, coming from Zayn, and it is making us thinking about our routines, about what are we doing in the same way every day, without trying to find if it is a better alternative. Do not become a person of habit. Challenge yourself and your little automatic gestures. The brain will rewire and your experience will make you a better person in any given direction. You will even start to learn faster, to change when needed and to find a teacher in everyone.

"There are three truths: my truth, your truth and the truth." - Chinese proverb -

Everything we see in understood through our life experience, and no one can see the same big picture in the same way. No, not even the twins. Can be close of our reality or far away, but it is not the same. We, people, are islands, surrounded by the entire world as an impersonal ocean. If we keep this in mind, sometime we can have a glimpse into another person life, and this is a big thing. The more often we can do this, the more wiser we will become.

Priorities

"Things don't have to change the world to be important." said Steve Jobs. A very interesting study was done, asking children under seven and elderly over 70 what are the 3 most important things in life. Most of the answers pointed towards family, pets, kindness, passions and health. Interesting stuff, right? What are the most important 3 things in your life?

Truth, performance and the shaman's ship

I am reading something today that totally blows my mind. It is about a concept called Radical Honesty. Remember that old Jim Carey movie called Liar,liar! That is all about. Never lie. In any given situation, do not lie. Always say the truth. It is somehow similar with the yoga principle of Satya. Which is probably better, because added one more rule: always say the truth, but never for the purpose to hurt another being. You have the full link here. Enjoy your reading!

Tim Ferris just finished a book that i want to buy, as i was following his podcasts for some time. It is called Tools Of Titans, and he is doing here what he knows best, deconstructing performance in any given area. I am thinking Christmas gift for myself. I can see it on my shelf near Tony Robbins' book "Money-master the game". You have a sneak peak here, for the first chapter. Enjoy this too!

"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination." said John Lennon. Even more than that, our brain is usually filling the holes in our reality, showing us a picture different from reality, but according with our own beliefs. Think about that! If something is not in our definitions, we will not see it. We will see instead something else that is familiar to us. They say that the first time when Columbus went to America, the local people couldn't see the big ships, because they could not admit that something similar exists. They could only see the small boats. But the shaman, more observant than average Joe, could see the ripples in the ocean waves, and somehow they understood that something big is there. Next moment, the Spanish galleons appeared in front of them. They explained all that to their tribes, and everyone could see the ships after that. It is something good here, because that means that we can understand the unfamiliarity of the unknown, as soon as someone else will explain it to us. The bad part is that we need to find that person already possessing this knowledge. This paragraph is partially inspired by the movie "What the bleep do we know?".

About kindness

That moment when you realize how the old mystics already understood the ripple effect of a random act of kindness, without the 12 years of research using 3 groups of more than 60 people. The winning quote is:

"Your acts of kindness are iridescent wings of divine love, which linger and continue to uplift others long after your sharing. " (- Rumi -)

Yin and Yang

When we are full (of ideas, of thoughts, of ourselves), life become complicated. When we are empty, when it is only the void, and no trace of us, miracles start to happen. I was always thinking about this. How come and how often i saw it. It is some magic behind this, if not a bit of righteous psychology. And even more, this can be a kind of life attitude, being open to any kind of challenge and events. In the end, we are richer and more experienced than when we started. You should try it some time!

Playfulness and the art of changing yourself

Motto: "Play is the work of the child." Maria Montessori

But somebody else also said: In the moment we forget how to play as a child, we die inside. A bit dramatic, but the latest researches showed this to be true to some extent. If we are focusing only on the adult side of life, on solving problems, getting bigger wages and fame or reputation, we are wrong. Doing the same thing over and over will have a deep impact on our feelings, even if it is something that we like (hedonic adaptation is a bxxxh, i know). What we need is to do something new every day (neuroplasticity reasons, anthropological reasons, magical reasons, you name it), to find new ways of play, new hobbies ( Did you know that learning how to juggle can change your life, your attitude and rewire your brain? Learning a second language will do something similar too.).

So, your task for today is to find a new way to play, as a child, in a non-competitive manner.

If you want the master level task - find a new hobby for you and become better at it in the next six months.

Good luck,
G.

Three thoughts for Sunday

"The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience." Emily Dickinson said. We are too often thinking about the negative side of life, and we will not remember when was the last time when we were in awe, when our mind stopped and we couldn't even breath in front of some majestic beauty.

"Childhood is the world of miracle and wonder...as if creation rose, bathed in the light, out of the darkness, utterly new and fresh and astonishing."  said Eugene Ionesco to us, and it is not a coincidence that one of the way to achieve huge self-esteem, will power and independence is to achieve our childhood dreams. Of course, many are completely irrelevant to us today, but in fulfilling them, in one way or another, we will reach the hidden fountain of eternal youth. It is something almost magical, an alchemy process which will invigorate and regenerate our body, mind and spirit. Try this today, all you need is pen and paper, make a list of your childhood dreams and try to achieve some of them Observe how you feel after it.

"Words are but the vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links, they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes." is a quote by Theodore Dreiser. And it is true, words can hurt or heal. One of the most interesting actions worldwide that I was watching is You Matter Marathon. Take a look and see one elegant way to change the world around you and bring joy to others.

That's all for today. Wish you an awesome week!
G.

About separation and embracing the humanity as a whole

"You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop." Rumi said centuries ago. Despite this many of us will still feel different and set apart from the humanity, trying to individualize themselves instead of embracing the big human family. In doing this, we separate, we start to feel lonely, instead of enjoying the solitude. We ignore the pain of others, even if we remember what Albert Schweitzer said: "No one must shut his eyes and regard as nonexistent the suffering of which he spared himself the sight.". The failure to provide alternatives for all the children, women and men of Aleppo, for all the refugees trying to escape from Syria, it is not our government failure, but it is our personal failure in an equal measure. An action, even the smallest one, can create a ripple effect and reach unexpected results. Or as Paulo Coelho said: "What you give, you will receive, although it might sometimes come from the place you least expect.". We need to forget the word stranger, and to walk over the danger, as more than often the separation exists only in our mind. We should try to help someone, even if we don't know that person. We will be rewarded in a way that cannot be predicted. I will finish with Carl Jung advice: "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances, if there is any reaction, both are transformed.".

Languages and rewiring the brain

Motto: If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. (Nelson Mandela)

Why should we learn at least one foreign language? Not because is rewiring our brain, making us smarter, faster and brilliant, but because talking to someone in his/her native language will always bring admiration and respect from the other person. We will catch a glimpse into another culture, another kind of psychology, and we will touch even someone else soul. Having access to a world class poet or writer in his native language is a must for every one of us to achieve, a bucket list thing. There are endless possibilities, and everything starts with a bit of effort. Try this, learn another language, even if it is just to know what to order in your favorite restaurant.

Motivational quotes list

This is a short list with some of the quotes I liked in the past month:

Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.
- Rumi -

What we fear most is that we will be denied the opportunity to fulfill our true potential.
- Dan Pallotta -

Satisfactions are fulfillment of the heart. Dissatisfactions are the rumblings of the mind.
- Duane Elgin -

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
- C.S. Lewis -

If we could surrender to Earth's intelligence, we would rise up rooted, like trees.
- Rainer Maria Rilke -

Humility in response to an experience of failure, then, is at its core a form of therapy, the beginning of a healing process.
- Costica Bradatan -

You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.
- Eckart Tolle -

If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.
- Mother Theresa -

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion.
- Maya Angelou -

Faith is not the clinging to a shrine but an endless pilgrimage of the heart.
- Abraham Joshua Heschel -

Choosing Must is the greatest thing we can do with our lives
- Elle Luna -

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead -

To control aggression without inflicting injury is the Art of Peace.
- Morihei Ueshiba -

If we apply our minds directly and competently to the needs of the earth, then we will have begun to make fundamental and necessary changes in our minds.
- Wendell Berry -

Listen to the trees as they sway in the wind. Their leaves are telling secrets.
- Vera Nazarian -

The human heart is the first home of democracy.
- Terry Tempest Williams -

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
- Virginia Woolfe -

Whether we live in poverty or prosperity, we can still live generously.
- Dillon Burroughs -

So busy

I am so busy, i don't know what i need to do, to stop everything until my schedule is free? This is a valid question. But i have no time to answer.

Quote of the day

"It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge."
- Albert Einstein -

To teach something and to do it properly, you need to learn how to create emotions and feeling in the heart of the ones you are teaching. To create a magical environment first, and then everything will be easy, and will remain in their minds forever. Because, at the end of the day, it is not difficult to do something, it is difficult to put ourselves in the right state of mind.

Quote of the day

"Trouble makes us one with every human being in the world - and unless we touch others, we're out of touch with life."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes -

Bad is good, or as somebody used to say, every bad thing in my life made me to go forward through designing my best existence ever dreamed or imagined. Or maybe did you hear that steel is forged with thousands of hammer blows. Of course, we can learn from our mistakes, if we are clever enough, because instantly adapting to change equal high intelligence, or we can go even further than that, reaching wisdom, and learning from other's mistakes. The choice is yours! Good luck!

Quote of the day

"Children are not things to be molded, but people to be unfolded."
- Jess Lair -

There are here with our help, but are not meant to serve as instruments for our unfulfilled desires. They have their own destiny. We fold the cocoon of our love around them, but they need to become that butterfly, and spread their wings. Do not limit yourself, and do not limit them in any way. Praise them for the potentialities which need to be unfolded. Do not praise them as individuals, but remain in awe observing their abilities, skills and qualities. You can say to someone that she is beautiful, or you can say to that person that she was born to spread beauty around her. It is the same concept, but can you see the difference?

Suggestion

Yesterday, The Dark One whispered in my ear:
"You are not strong enough to withstand the storm!"
Today I just smiled and I answered back:
"I am the storm!"

Quote of the day

"A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it."
- Chinese Proverb -

In Japan it is also a similar expression - mizu no kokoro, (translation: a spirit like water). You need to bend in front on the hardships of life, like a willow, instead of staying strong against the difficulties, and get rooted out. Continuous adaptation is the best survival skill, you can correct your aim with every attempt, coming closer and closer to your goal. Next time when you fail to adapt fast enough, think about this. And act accordingly.

You have been weighted!

Motto: "He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything. "
- Thomas Carlyle -

He was sitting on the bridge, looking at the fast river underneath. "If I want to jump, i can do it so easily, and nobody will be fast enough to stop me", he was thinking. Not at his best, as another one of his start-ups failed, after one apparently short success. First two months were good enough, with a 1800% return per investment, but after that everything was running dry. He was almost ready to change his lifestyle, he could see himself financially independent, with a nice house, with a decent passive income, ready to never work again. And sudden, like a house of cards, everything crumbled. He did a decent profit, but, at first, he had seen this as a failure. And in that same moment, when a lightning lightened the entire sky, this whole new concept hit him. He got profit, even if  only for two months. This was an success, and this time, like in the last three times, he gain some money, and made it work for 60 days. The one before that took 8 months just to start, and then barely made it on equal terms. He is getting closer. With every new try, he is getting closer and closer. One of this days, he gonna do it. He turned around, went back home, sat at the table, notebook and pen nearby, and start to write another 10 ideas for today. And another 10 ideas for tomorrow. He will never stop.

Micro-tries

It was observed, when you are training a horse, if you reward the try instead of the result, that horse will learn to support you and to grow up quicker. The subtle the try, the bigger the reward, and the result will be a magical one, such as the animal is almost reading your mind. Or maybe he can really do it, but this is a story for another time. Expanding this knowledge into the human psychology, especially into parenting, will lead to amazing results. You can even do it or yourself, find a dream that you forgotten and left behind, and for one week do several micro-tries towards the final goal. Reward yourself generously and see what happen. Your mind is the horse, and you are the jockey. But which "you", that is for you to discover.

Quote of the day

"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
- Mark Twain -

Did you ever think about it?Why we fall in temptation, why our will will falter in front of a big challenge? Some researchers think that this is a trainable skill, some blame the genetics. Probably the truth is somewhere in between. So next time, when you are morally challenged, gather your courage and step forward. The best is yet to come.

Quote of the day

"We must learn to live together like brothers or perish together like fools."
-Martin Luther King-

This quote is spectacular, and you can see the unique opportunity provided by King. Never more actual, as we will be probably the last generation to live on the Earth as we know it, the last to see an wild Savannah elephant or a western black rhino. The last to know how the world was before internet, how we use to communicate before the telephone was mobile. A lot of our so called normal experiences are now extinct, and we do not know if the direction of our collective journey is a good or a bad one. We will see. But kindness, for example, kindness is always real, even in an ever-changing world.

Prepositions

Above the sky,
out of reach,
beneath the clouds,
on the beach,
without fear,
too far and near,
close to the pork chop
From the seaside shop.

In that September's evening

I lost my way, somewhere on the road. I do not know what happen, but i am not responding fast enough to the change, it is like somehow i started to solidify myself, like the fluidity and the grace is hard to reach these days. But my habits are strong, and my will even stronger. Maybe i need to rest, but this is highly improbable, as i just finished my holiday one week ago. Maybe is just the thought that i will need to work for 6 months until i will go somewhere again, far away from home. I will use different strategies, i will diversify my interest, in order to find that spark of madness and creativity which drove me up. Could be a lost that i feel more than expected, could be the realization of my own mortality. Something need to be done. Fast.

Miracles for everyone

That moment when a child raise 1 million dollars for the top researchers to find the cure for his friend illness.

Read about it here.

As they said, you are never to young to make a difference.

Quote of the day

"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Or as many of us heard it already - A journey of 1000 miles start with one step - more like a challenge than an advice. Because in the end this is the only important thing if you want to achieve any result, to start. Once you started, you only need to bend like a willow tree and adapt, testing new strategies and improving your answer to the trials thrown at you. Good luck. Stand up and do that step. And another one. And another one.

Designer tip

I am just heard something interesting about designing you own house. Funny enough, was said in 1890 but it is still actual. What is it? Pay attention:

- Do not keep anything in your house if is not for common use or beautiful!

Quote of the day

"The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them."
- Elizabeth Gilbert -

Choosing curiosity over fear will help us to step forward and to learn faster. What is fear, if not the absence of courage? And what is courage, if not the absence of fear? We need to know when to go forward, but not recklessly. Challenging ourselves is the key, if we do this at the right time. Try it.

A hidden blessing

Sometimes things are not what they seems.

Check this video, and learn about accepting any gift given to you.

About death, happiness and Bhutanese way of living

A very interesting link about happiness, but as they see it from another angle than us, Westerners.

Quote of the day

"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings."
- Lao Tzu -

Or as somebody else said, a wise man will learn as much from his failures as form his successes. And we can see the full picture only looking back, but we cannot predict the future, and very often what in the present moment seems to be our biggest failure will be, when we look back after few years, only one step towards our biggest success. It was an easy technique to alleviate one unhappy event, by asking yourself three questions. Will this matter in 10 days? In 10 months? In 10 years? If the last answer is no, then keep going forward.

Quote of the day

"We tend to overvalue the things we can measure and undervalue the things we cannot."
- John Hayes -

We live in a world where our progress is only real if it can be measured, but sometimes there are things that cannot be quantified, like the feeling of awe walking slowly through a secular forest. Still, this event can change our emotional mood and mental abilities for the next 48 hours, altering the time perception in a beneficial way.

Flow hacks

*
I was reading about the 300 training, for people whom often find and excuse. All you need is an yoga mat, and then start. 100 push-ups, such us 30-25-20-15-10, followed by 100 squats, followed by 100 sit-ups/crunches/leg lifts. Full body training, and if you ever reach the level of doing it in 3 series of 100 reps, without break, you are in the top 1% active people.

**
Sleep and breathing. Track your sleep for a month, put the time when you fall asleep and wake up. Check and learn about your sleeping pattern. Napping is a magical resource in keeping your brain in peak state. Use this knowledge when it is possible. Use 30, 45 or 90 minutes intervals. Regular bedtime, dark and cool room, this is a must for your perfect deep sleep. If you can wake up without alarm, this would be ideal. Do not jump out of the bed when you wake up. A few deep breathing and a moderate stretching is always a good idea.

***
Each day find 2 minutes to write down at least 3 things that you are grateful for it. Before sleeping, take 10 minutes to write down you most important 3 tasks for the next day. When you wake up, first 90 minutes do not use any technology, such as smartphone, tablet or PC. U se this time to focus and solve you 3 most important tasks, if it is possible.

****
Recovery is important. Upon waking up, drink 500 ml of water. This is a good re-hydration trick. If you drink coffee or caffeine products, do this after lunch. Your cortisol level is already up in the morning, so drinking coffee then is somehow and overkill. Do 5 min breaks for every 30 min of work, or 10 min for every hour of work. Implement recovery breaks in your schedule for increased efficiency.

More about this here.

Quote of the day

"Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world."
Roald Dahl

This is my new favourite motto, even better that Gandhi's "Be the change that you want in the world." I find this one as being the supreme optimism, and this is how i want to see the world and to interact with others.

Have a good day.

G.

Leave or remain - September 2016

After the petition for second referendum, a debate took place and a final decision was announced.

Read everything here. 

Quote of the day

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
- Aristotle -

Do we need friendship to survive? Indeed, we need it, as a recent study related to feeling and being alone is linked with different illnesses, low immunity and even a significant decrease of the life itself. It is bad to be alone, most of us know that, but the science proved that it is true also. Make friends, make a lot of friends, some for a weekend, some for a life, you never know when you will need one. Do not stop focusing only on your peer group, speak with a biker, with your shopkeeper, or even with the cleaning lady. Go out of your comfort zone. Aim big. You want to have 100 friends, make 1000. Your life quality will increase, your brain plasticity will improve, even your happiness will increase. Go outside and do this.

Good luck.
G.

Quote of the day

"A man travels the world for what he needs and returns home to find it."
George Edward Moore.

This is often happening with a person that start a spiritual journey. Mostly because, even after you go around the world, the real journey is the one happening inside you. It is the story mentioned by Coelho's Alchemist, by Gurdjieff and many others. Remember, you need the journey in the outside world, because there is no other way to learn. But you need to always focus on what happen inside you.

A good day,
G.

Quote of the day

"It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined."
- John Green -

I will start with an affirmation. Pronouns are limitations. When we say 'he' or 'she', we are limiting by gender. When we say us or them, or when we start with 'they', aren't we separating ourselves from others. We create walls using only words, and then we complain that we feel lonely. That we are alone in a big world. So, next time when you are using a pronoun, think about it. Do not limit yourself, and do not impose your own limitations on others. Because, if you are maintaining a limit long enough in your mind, it may become real.

Quote of the day

"We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race."
-Cicero-

Yes, the community can be a gracious thing, but i will ask you: What was the last action that you did to help your own community?

Quote of the day

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."
- Helen Keller -

According to some recent research, art and beauty are contagious, they can really jump from one soul to another, improving the quality of our life in the same time. Fill your life with beauty. Find a sculpture you like and put it on your desk, order huge paintings online and put them on your walls. The benefits will be huge. Your mind will open, your smile will appear and you will have a great story to tell to others about it. Just do it!

Quote of the day

"That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent."
- Chinese Proverb -

Maintaining thoughts of worry and anticipating disasters somewhere in the future, instead of enjoying every aspect of the present moment, is a clear path to self destruction. Or as Mark Twain said: "I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."

The power of a teacup

It is a bit long, but it is totally worth it to listen to it. 

Quote of the day

"We must shift our allegiances from fear to curiosity, from attachment to letting go, from control to trust, and from entitlement to humility."
- Angeles Arrien -

As it is pointed out, shifting our allegiances and combating the wrong self beliefs that are equivalent with personal truth will dramatically change the quality of our own life. But to boldly go there, you need courage, and while sometimes it can be born out of desperation, it is more important to do it as a voluntary choice.

Quote of the day

"Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself."
- Elie Wiesel -

And to extend this idea a bit more, we can choose the same approach towards competitiveness. I know it is hard to do it, but in order to achieve peace of the mind, it is better to compare the Us from Now'' with the 'Us from Yesterday'. Not to compare with others. This is how we grow, healthy and care free.

Repetition

- You are nothing but a big child,
In perfect touch with your innocence,
The angel told me.
- I am nothing but a big child,
In perfect touch with my innocence,
I repeated.
- You are playful light,
You are fire and lightning
You are perfect.
- I am playful light,
I am fire and lightning
I am perfect.
- My job is done here,
The angel said.
- Your job is done here,
I said, and I opened my eyes.

Quote of the day

"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."
- Desmond Tutu -

Hope will get us out from our darkest hours, and we need not to forget that our biology is influenced by our emotions, and while we choose to linger in depressive thoughts or accept a bad mood, it is entirely in our power to change instantly, in a heartbeat, and become active, open to the beauty existing around us, becoming a pillar to sustain the other people that were affected in the same time. A bad time make some thieves, some heroes. And it is only your choice that will finally define you.

Empathy and quick thinking

Or why this was the best short movie in the world in 2014. Inspired from one of Gandhi's stories.

Communication 101

Motto: "Words are windows, or they're walls,
              They sentence us, or set us free.
             When I speak and when I hear,
              Let the love light shine through me."
              - Ruth Bebermeyer -


A. Aim for connection.
B. Listen more than you speak.
C. Try to understand the other person.
D. Understand when is a need, a wish or a value.
E. Empathy ( Refrain from telling your own similar story, interrogating with lots of data-type questions, interpreting the other’s experience, giving advice, one-upping e.g. “if you think that’s bad wait till you hear about what happened to me!”, dismissing the person’s feelings e.g. “Oh don’t be angry.”, dismissing the person’s experience, or telling the person that this experience is actually good for them!
F. Make practical, specific and positive requests.
G. Take responsibility for your feelings.
H. Be willing to hear "No".
I. Use neutral, accurate descriptions.
J. There are other ways to communicate than words.

Quote of the day

"My life is my message."
- Mahatma Gandhi -

No need for other words.

Quote of the day

"Wisdom begins in wonder."
- Socrates -

This three words phrase contains a big secret. The direct relation between wisdom and wonder (also known as awe). We are constrained, restrained, limited by our perception of space and time. One minute of awe will modify the time perception, making us to feel that we have plenty of it, taking away that rush and endless run after material things. Awe and sense of wonder will give us roots, will help to build that foundation which create a character, a real personality, with deepness and direct connection to our heart, to our soul, to the real Self.

Quote of the day

"When you commit an act of violence, you are basically disconnecting yourself. You are putting yourself outside the circle."
- John Malloy -

Let's explore our yesterday post even further. We said that we are part of the bigger tapestry of life, interconnected with everybody else. We are all part of a bigger organism, and we benefit from this as long as we are connected. By doing something that is contrary to our own nature, we are basically saying "I am this" instead of "I am". We become someone, we create another identity for ourselves, instead of just being. If this identity is fake or not, this is a story for another time. Have a good night!

Feed the world

Motto:"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together."
- Vincent Van Gogh -

There are a lot of food banks and similar initiatives, trying to solve the problem of equal access to healthy eating, but this idea has something magical, and you gonna be surprised after you read about it. I think that each off us can do it, and give a hand to the ones who need it. Seriously, read about it. It is amazing.

Quote of the day

"Humankind has not woven the thread of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect."
- Chief Seattle -

We are not alone. We are connected. We are supporting and sustaining each other on our journey, and we have many unknown benefactors, but sometimes we still complain about life. We need to learn how to be grateful and kind, because we are not only individuals, making our way trough life. We are One.

Quote of the day

"The earth has music for those who listen."
- William Shakespeare -

As I was talking in one of my previous posts about the empty space technique and the necessity of recovery after a busy schedule, one of the easiest way to give to our over-excited brain a break (after the breathing focus meditation technique) is a walk in a natural environment, being aware of every one of your senses. Just focus on what you hear, see, smell. Do not think, just open yourself to the myriads of sensations and stimuli, and enjoy it.

Quote of the day

"Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness."
- George Sand -

I someone would ask what is the first lesson that i will teach my child, i will answer without a second thought: Kindness. This is the foundation of every good human being, the root from where a beautiful tree will grow up. The different branches will have names as compassion, charisma, pro-social tendencies and beauty, and creativity,and happiness. A lot of good deeds are emerging from this spring. And we should all practice it first, as we are living examples for our little ones on what and what not to do. Think about it!

Quote of the day

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
- Edward Everett Hale -

I can talk about the story of the 101st monkey, as it was told by Rupert Sheldrake, but i will not repeat myself now. The idea is that you can change the world, mainly by changing yourself first. And that every act of kindness, as small as it gets, can generate a ripple effect that you cannot estimate. You can never now, but every tipping point was generated in a similar manner. One singular action was done, and somehow expands, encompassing the entire world. The problem which raise the result is the same, regardless that an action is good or bad. For this reason only, if not for any other, you need to be kind and helpful anytime you can. Go there, in the world, spread your wings and be the equivalent of a human angel. You don't need to, but you must to be the change that you want in the world.

One example here.

Neuro-hacks

Motto: "“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”
Benjamin Franklin

*
Awareness is the most important skill preceding perfect flow, helping you to recognize and be in synchronicity with your environment. Here are some ideas about how to do it always, being aware in every moment, staying in the present in the same time.

**
About the concept of empty space and constant learning, as I was mentioned Ben Franklin, i found an interesting article related to this. Read here.

***
And for all of you that are voluntary sleep depriving yourselves, read this. A simple hack to greatly improve your brain performance and not only this.

****
And finally, the all praised resilience, and how this is not about going on, but about how you recover every after extra-push. How much you lose by keep going forward, regardless of your own body intelligence signals and warning. Have an idea reading this.

Just because

Some very inspiring video from KarmaTube.

Click here.

Quote of the day

"Books have the power to have us feel empathy and have us experience the thrill of a journey of someone else."
- Laura Moulton -

I am often asked what do you need to do in order to become as close as it gets to being a genius. My answer is usually: Read and travel, as early and as much as possible. I will not be too boring talking about cultural immersion, the necessity to learn other languages (reading great authors in original is a worthy achievement) or the necessity of knowing how to speak, write, or have a large vocabulary. But yes, this is my reason. They say that the clever one learn from his own mistakes, the wise one learn from everybody's mistakes. Or great deeds. Like the ones you read about. Get it?

Word of the day

Tesseract

In geometry, the tesseract is the four-dimensional analog of the cube; the tesseract is to the cube as the cube is to the square. Just as the surface of the cube consists of six square faces, the hypersurface of the tesseract consists of eight cubical cells. The tesseract is one of the six convex regular 4-polytopes. The tesseract is also called an 8-cell, C8, (regular) octachoron, octahedroid, cubic prism, and tetracube (although this last term can also mean a polycube made of four cubes). It is the four-dimensional hypercube, or 4-cube as a part of the dimensional family of hypercubes or "measure polytopes".

Quote of the day

"If there was an abundance of misery in the world, there was also sufficient joy, yes - as long as one knew where to look for it."
- Rohinton Mistry -

We are talking here about the union of the contraries, yin and yang, light and dark, night and day. In the end, it is all about perspective. The hell and heaven are not waiting for us at the end of our life, we are living them right here, as a result of our every action, small or big. Or as one of my favourite jokes state it, the pessimist will see the glass half empty, the optimist will see it half full, and the engineer will see it twice as big than it is needed.

Quote of the day

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
- Pablo Picasso -

We can mirror perfectly the entire spectrum of our emotions, once we learn how to polish ourselves, in order to reflect it accurately. Because, if the vision is blurred, the others cannot see it as we see it. Even if sometimes the beauty expands out from the artists, transcending every limited perception. We call this masterpiece.

About beauty, patterns and earthscape

There are people that are connected to something bigger then their own person. And simplicity enriches the soul. What is art? Is this related to permanence, or all that we need is to feel that our inner child is still alive?

Become the bliss, and let it go. Transcend your limits. Stop your mind. And be happy. Just be. BE!

The eyes can look, but they cannot see

Remember when you walked along the street. How much aware were you about what happen around yourself? Maybe you looked, but you couldn't see. Do not worry, i got the remedy for you, right here, right now.

Watch it:

Enjoy it!

Quote of the day

"The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work."
- Emile Zola -

A big truth here, and this will also explain why sometimes hard work get better results than genius. the gift is your potential, but in order to learn how to use it optimally, you need to work on it. If you do not, the potential will remain potential, and a zero is nothing, doesn't matter how many times we try to add it to any other number.

Question of the day

How many times in your life did you take what was not given to you?

Quote of the day

"The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge."
(Bertrand Russel)

What happen if it is inspired by knowledge and guided by love, would you say? Then maybe you know how and what to do, while following the ancestral call to unity that is whispering every moment within ourselves. The author of this quote was a pragmatic mind, but most probably he couldn't teach us how to let ourselves moved by the endless waves of our emotions, until we become one with the silence hidden behind the motion. Some call that satori, nirvana, samadhi or any other name. If you are not on your way towards Knowledge, only poetry can save you and take you there. Or love. Endless, unlimited love, even if it is directed only to one person, and not to the whole humanity. This could be the start, anyway, and you can learn how to love more later. What would you choose, the first or the second option? Why?

Question of the day

What is the pain threshold that you are willing for endure in relation with other people? (0 to 10)

Quote of the day

"He explained to me with great insistence that every question possessed a power that did not lie in the answer."
(Elie Wiesel)

We were told that a good question contains the answer itself. But the same questions can bring different answers in different people. And there are many kind of questions. Some are trivial, as "What time it is?", some are deep and stirring something inside us, such as "What is the purpose of my life?". But it is not like that. We are not looking for the questions, because we need their answers. We need the answer that is raising inside us, the feeling that will emerge, and all this happen even before the words get the consistency and become real. Think about it. Can you?

Eternal choices

I spread my wings and I fly over the city. I am ready to fulfill one desire, made by the first person I will meet. This planet is a bit troublesome, but I am one of the Ancient Gods, almost Almighty, close to perfection. I am safe. I take the appearance of one of them, and I start to walk though the city. They are all busy, running like ants between different goals and schedule, forgetting about their potential to be unlimited beings. One poor dressed guy stops me and beg for a dollar. I ask him intently if this is everything he is needing right now. He is adamant. "One dollar is all I need, brother, God bless!". I give him the note and he leave me with a smile on his face. Maybe it is still hope on this planet. I will stay a bit more.

Question of the day

What do I really need right now in order to be happy?

Quote of the day

"Friendship with one's self is all important, because without it, one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

And the idea can be pushed even further, if we are thinking at the research about self-compassion, made by Dr. Kristin Nuff. In all the animal reign, humans are the only one who can make themselves feel miserable. But the reversal is also true. We can make ourselves to feel happy, fulfilled and kind. All we need is  a little practice. Treat yourself always as you would treat your best friend. And your life will change.

Quote of the day

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
(Albert Einstein)

We use our smartphone as a shield, as a distraction and as a obsession, being simultaneous our remedy for solitude (but we are being socially active without going out from the house), as a distraction from the current problems and difficulties (at least we are not overcompensating through eating) or as an obsession in our race for more dopamine based rewards (see the latest high addictive games, able to create in our brain a reaction similar with heroin). What can we do?

One day per week without mobile.

Mindfulness walk - wall slowly paying attention to all our 5 senses, internally and externally. We will look around, feel the wind on the skin, smell, taste, but we will also be aware of our internal sensations, our emotions, our state of mind.

Touch, hug, make love, try to find all those rewarding feeling through some oxytocin based neuronal path instead of dopamine based ones.

Good luck,
G.

Quote of the day

Poetry is an act of peace. Peace goes into the making of a poet, as flour goes into the making of bread.
(Pablo Neruda)

I know this. I know this from long time ago. And even more. Poetry brings a smile for everyone who is listening. May be the rhythm, or just the words harmonically coming up together, i will never know. But what i know best is how to translate my feelings into poetry. I will do this, again and again, until i will live in the world that i would like to live. Ideals becoming reality, this is the dream i dreamed tonight.

Sweet dreams!
G.

The theory of giving - The feeling behind it.

I know what I have given you... I do not know what you have received.
(Antonio Porchia)

And a touching video about giving back to the one who give. Enjoy it!

Quote of the day

Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts.

- Wendell Berry -

How often do you smile? Do you remember when and why did you smiled last time? We cultivate this whole culture of seriousness, forgetting that in Far East, for example, it is a culture of joy and smiling. Are those people happier and living longer than us? Of course. This could be the reason, or not. But, as someone says, angels are hiding behind out smile. And measuring physiological responses shown us that smiling make us healthier, physically and emotionally. Start smiling then, and say your favourite joke today to some friends, in order to bring a smile. You have nothing to lose.

Quote of the day

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.

- Anne Frank -

They say that being happy enable us to see the beauty around us. But the reverse mechanism is also true. By trying and succeeding to see the beauty around us, we can also raise our happiness level. Think about a time when you have seen a butterfly with marvelous colors, or the full moon through the trees. It was beautiful, isn't' it? Think about the smile of some  very young member of your family, as a toddler. First walk hand-to-hand with the loved one. First kiss. Was that pure beauty or pure happiness? Can you differentiate between them? Bring all these memories to your mind. What is your state of mind now? How do you feel your emotions? If only thinking about it made all these changes, what will happen when you will do it for real?

Have a pleasant and lazy afternoon!

G.

Quote of the day

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.

- Albert Einstein -

Is this true enough for you? When was the last time when you were truly, deeply in awe? Why are we trying desperately to become the perfect little robots that will know only to work, eat, sleep and satisfy our primal needs, i would not understand. There is much more in life than this. And yes, we can be free, we can live the life that we design for us. Yes, this is the trick. You are living the life that you designed for you. Ah, you did not designed yet? Then why you complain? There is much more in life than fulfilling your basic need. Start working. Make a plan. And stop often to check the sky,and see how the clouds are travelling from one point to another. It is the wind that is doing all the work for them? Tell me?

Quote of the day

We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we merely borrow it from our children.
(Native American proverb)

This is one way to see the things. And a good way, because even as we speak, one entire animal species will disappear, and we will never see it again. This will be only a myth, a mystical creature that once existed, for our children. Think about it. What can you do to change this? Find your own ways to help your planet. Because every little help matters.

Question of the day

Presuming money are not a problem, what would you do right now?

Quote of the day

The task of healing is to respect oneself as a creature, no more and no less.

- Wendell Berry -

This reminds me of an old story, when someone asked Raphael, the archangel of health and healing, about the secrets of the eternal life. The angel said:
"When you need to sleep, sleep as much as is deemed necessary. When you need to eat, listen to your inner voice, and eat only as much as is needed. When you need to move or walk or work, do all this, but only for as much as you feel right about it. Do all these actions every day, and your life will be a long happy one. You body already knows what is needed, all that you must do is to listen, to really listen. "

Quote of the day

One single gift acknowledged in gratefulness has the power to dissolve the ties of our alienation.

- Brother David Steindl-Rast -

Most of the people find great pleasure in giving, if they deem someone worthy, but they find hard to accept a gift. It is ironic and almost comical to see grown ups trying to refuse a gift. How can someone enjoy giving, if they do not also enjoy accepting a gift. I do not even remember who said to me when i was little, but i was told this: "Always accept a gift genuinely offered, because if you refuse it now, maybe next time when you will really need it, nobody will be there willing to give it." Remember these words, they are so true.

And a gift for you here.

Quote of the day

"The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just on the body, but the soul."

- Alfred Austin -

We are not use to do effort, to connect with the earth. Remember when was last time when you walked barefoot? Some of us did that last time as children. We almost forget that feeling of happiness and plenitude of walking barefoot, of being with our hands in the dirt, feeling the heat or the coolness of the earth. The fulfillment of eating something that you grow, with your own powers. Think about, it is an experience worth trying. Good luck.

G.

What happen if you live the life you want to live?

What if? How often did you ask yourself this little question? If it is at least once a day, it is one too many times. Here is a vibrant example of what happen if you choose to follow your passion and live the life you want.

Click here for video.

Quote of the day

"I think that music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music."
(Billy Joel)

Think about this next time when life feels empty and bleak, when everything around you is grey and you find no reason to continue to hope. Find one song that you really like, and dance like no one is seeing you. That's it. Just dance.

Pokemon go? No!

As I study the happiness and the delicate mechanisms behind the hedonic adaptation, I did a very interesting field study on the release of the new virtual augmented reality game Pokemon Go!. I will start with that classic story of first release of internet on the plane, in Seventies. The story say that when this was first time presented to the passengers, they were amazed, ecstatic even. Internet on the plane, during flight, imagine that. Many of them did not have internet at home, and the mobile connected phones were yet to be invented. But sometimes in the middle of the flight the connection will drop, and everybody become angry and frustrated. That is just how much a miracle will last.

Now back to our pokemons. The goal of every game we play is to bring us some kind of satisfaction, to improve gradually or to compete with others. Pokemon Go! is bringing all this at once, through the capture of your own pokemons, and competing for the gym, to get more gold coins, basically. They will make money through the general public tendency of impatience, the modern culture of "I want it now", although seems that you can get everything for free if you want to walk enough. The innovation is that people need to physically walk to get the eggs open, and to find new pokemons to capture for your Pokedex. At the moment connection is difficult, if not impossible, as the people told me that they tried to login and couldn't for 90% of the time in the last 3 days. They like the game, that is becoming a global phenomenon, but the problem is that at the moment everybody is frustrated because they cannot play. It is only a fine line between being a craze and being the biggest failure of all time as the potential is practically unlimited, starting to influencing even the economy and marketing of the small or bigger businesses. The tipping point is here, and they need to get together, fixing the major bugs (the screen is freezing faster then Elsa's room in Frozen) and building a sustainable server or they will lose all.

We will see what happen.

Alzheimer - solved. Cancer - next?

Seems that we got some good news from Australia. They restored memory to 75% of the mice tested, with no damage whatsoever on the surrounding brain tissue. Testing on humans will probably start at the end of 2017.

The whole article here.

Quote of the day

"Our task must be to free ourselves, by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature, and its beauty. "
(Albert Einstein)

Why? Because based of Bolivian Law of Mother Earth, signed in 2010, all entities in nature have equal right with humans. What about that? Until we will reach same deepness, all the protests, Greenpeace and animal right protection are just some words for some of us. We are all equals and we all have the same right to live here on Earth. What can be more humble than that? Just think about.

Dialogue

Why do you still try?
I try because i believe in the morphogenetic theory of Rupert Sheldrake, I try because i still care, I try because i learnt about the tipping point, and maybe I am the 100th monkey, maybe I will be the one to tip the point in the right direction. That is my reason.
OK, but now, on the serious note, what it is your next goal?
To change the world, to make it a better place.
Do you think you gonna do it?
I can always try. As Buddha said, if I will help one single person in my whole life, then i did not live for nothing. Judging from the thank you messages and notes I get every week, I think I am going in the right direction. The one direction. And I feel blessed, man, I feel full of gratitude when I can see where I am and where I could be. So many things could have been wrong at the time, but they didn't. I am Here and Now, and I like it.
Any last word?
Follow the voice of your heart. It is only a whisper, it was so long from the last time you listen it. But you can do that now. Follow the voice of your heart, and live a happy life. I know you can do it.

Quote of the day

"If a man going down into a river, swollen and swiftly flowing, is carried away by the current -- how can he help others across?"

( Buddha )

Probably this was the inspiration for the most famous quote of Mahatma Gandhi - If you want to change the world, you need first to change yourself, or the other version - Be the change that you want in the world. Nevertheless, the idea is that, until you are prepared, your efforts to make a change in the external world could lead to extra time and extra energy spent by you, with average results. Even if failing is better than not trying, i bet that all of us want to succeed, right?

See you tomorrow!
G.

Hurricane

In a whirlwind of thoughts,
I look for the door
to the Wonderland kingdom.
I cannot go through the looking glass,
as i am a bit overweight,
i carry on my shoulders
the heaviness of an entire generation.
Let's meet there
where the Silence is golden,
and the Sun is not a star,
but a start
for the Journey to myself.

Technology, attention span and the real worlds

Motto: Technology challenges us to assert our human values, which means that first of all, we have to figure out what they are. (Sherry Turkle)

Look at this picture. Can you see something familiar? Do you see this too often? Why? What do you think it is the solution?

We got hooked, we got a whole life and expectancies inside that little screen. And in doing this, we forget to look around us, to see that majestic tree, that bunny shaped cloud, the rainbow behind the neighbor house. 

And we don't have time. We never have enough time, spare time is an urban myth, it is a legend similar to Excalibur, the sword from the stone. Just for you to know, right now, year 2016, the human attention span is 8 seconds (down from average 60 seconds 30 years ago). The goldfish has a 9 seconds attention span. That's telling us something, right? Everybody complain, but nobody want to learn that looking at the screen will change the way that we perceive the world, and speaking about something else, did you know that being in awe for one minute will modify your time perception, making you to feel that you have enough time for the next 24 hours? You see, i am good enough to give you the solution too. Now it is your turn. Go out, put everything in action. 

And thank me later for it.

Yours truly,

G.