Communication 101

Motto: "Words are windows, or they're walls,
              They sentence us, or set us free.
             When I speak and when I hear,
              Let the love light shine through me."
              - Ruth Bebermeyer -


A. Aim for connection.
B. Listen more than you speak.
C. Try to understand the other person.
D. Understand when is a need, a wish or a value.
E. Empathy ( Refrain from telling your own similar story, interrogating with lots of data-type questions, interpreting the other’s experience, giving advice, one-upping e.g. “if you think that’s bad wait till you hear about what happened to me!”, dismissing the person’s feelings e.g. “Oh don’t be angry.”, dismissing the person’s experience, or telling the person that this experience is actually good for them!
F. Make practical, specific and positive requests.
G. Take responsibility for your feelings.
H. Be willing to hear "No".
I. Use neutral, accurate descriptions.
J. There are other ways to communicate than words.