Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Self-compassion and happiness (part 2)

Kristin Neff, from Texas University, tried to introduce a new concept, called self-compassion - queting one's inner critic and replace it with a voice of support, understanding and care. This time I will say few more words about each of the components of self-compassion.

There are three main components of self-compassion:

1.Self kindness (vs. self judgement). This is an active component. It is more than an attitude. It is actively seeking what is helping and soothing us, what is helping us to heal, repair and regenerate faster.

2.Common humanity (vs. isolation). Very often, when something inconvenient happen to us, we ask: Why me?. We need to understand than nothing is perfect. Sometimes life goes wrong. We do not need to isolate ourselves, to suffer in silence, as this happen to us, Us as the big Ego, the most important being on Earth. Even if this is the trend, the mistake that everyone consider it as a normal fact. It is better to be connected. To not be cut off from others. We are not the only one suffering, There are others like us, and all of us are part of a bigger sphere, called humanity.

3.Mindfulness (vs. over-identification). Notice your suffering. Try to be with is as it is. Do not avoid it. In doing this, you will become more powerful, more courageous. Emotionally, many of us are in constant pain, due to our self-critic component of our personality. This is not needed. This can and must be changed. We need to be supportive and confident with ourselves. If a problem appear, we do not need to go straight in problem solving mode, and then struggle to solve it right away. Some problems take time, some are never meant to be solved. This is not the optimal attitude. Try to observe first, to estimate and to realize that this could be difficult. Not to use all our resources to solve what we consider to be a problem. Most of the problems are somewhere in the future. If we are in the present, many of the problems are not here. Like Mark Twain used to say: "In my life i have a big number of problems and difficulties, and most of them never happen."

Consider all these thoughts for a moment, and do your gram of practical action.

Good luck and good will,

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